Off Seasons and Passion

It has been some time since I last posted and alot has been happening in our life since then! Lets see, the quick and dirty version: The race season ended, I started riding cyclocross, I was let go from my job with Microbac, we had Gideon at home, and I started my writing business and get to see my family all day, every day as I now happily work from home exclusively. Oh, and I am writing this from my office in our new house in Devola...so there ya go, haha.

I had been slowing down a bit on the bike, really taking the "Off season" literally. I was riding a few times a week, but the intensity was waning. Which was fine since I was really just concerned with maintaining my base and focusing on the immenent arrival of our second child. You could say that my enthusiasm for training was decreasing with the drop in temperature. But I was also in an "Off Season" of life and work. I was complacent, getting things done, but only out of necessity, not because I was passionate about them anymore. We all do it: get comfortable in "Life". Well, when I walked into my office at Microbac one fateful Friday morning and learned that the marketing division was getting downsized, God gave me a swift kick in the rear. I took the news from our Managing Director just fine. He explained we didnt have the work to maintain my position, and apologetically said they would have to let me go. I was a bit stunned, but shook his hand, thanked him, and assured him that we (my family) would be fine. I walked out of the office that day with a new lease on my life.

I almost immediately made the decision to pursue my writing career, but only with Elizabeth's blessing. So after Elizabeth and I talked it over and she emphatically encouraged me to pursue the writing business I knew that is what God had in mind for us. Through the months leading up to my job loss, I had been securing contracts left and right. Literally at times it seemed that I was overrun with freelance work on the side. I had even thought that if things stayed this way, within a year I would need to decide whether or not to pursue my writing career or stay with Microbac. I simply wouldnt have time for both. I have now decided that God was preparing our family for the layoff and setting the stage for me to launch the next portion of my career. I work harder than ever now, but I relish it. I love writing, I love my job, and most of all, I love my life. Elizabeth, the boys and I emerged from my job loss a stronger, happier family and I am finally able to pursue a business that is truly suited to my strengths. I work nearly 100 hours a week sometimes, but I am completely fulfilled with what I am doing (and the money aint bad either ;) ). I know that the harder I work truly does equate to a higher paycheck, more contracts later, and/or return customers. Its hard to imagine doing anything else at this point and you know what? I have my PASSION back. The passion to work hard and pursue my potential.

You may think, what does this have to do with biking? It has everything to do with it. When I was finally able to get out on a ride with a couple friends (one of which is probably reading ;) ), I finally regained my passion for the bike as well. We rode for the simple joy of riding. We werent racing, there was no money at stake, and we weren't thinking about our heart rate zones. We just were RIDING. The route was a smooth out-and-back on a blustery day last week. We started out of town with the wind howling in our ears and rain threatening. I was on a borrowed wheelset (mine was toast from the race season. New ones on order...) and hadnt been out for over a week. But it was all so familiar. I donned my helmet, long finger gloves, knee and arm warmers. As I clipped in, I settled into that comfortable position that my body instinctively adopted on the road bike. We headed out in single file line, clipping along at a comfortable pace. As my muscles heated up, I remembered. I remembered the group rides, races, comaradarie, the wins, and the losses. What had seemed so distant as I stared out the window of my warm and cozy office, now seemed so familiar. It was exhilirating! As we returned, I attacked at the bottom of the bridge heading back into St. Mary's. I wasnt attacking my companions, I was attacking complacency, mediocraty, and my slower, softer self. For nearly a quarter mile I danced on the pedals, drowning out the pain I felt in my legs and lungs by screaming in my head to push harder, go longer, do more. It wasnt my best or fastest effort by far, but it was enough. I finally pushed past the point of pain into the realm of ecstasy. That point where nothing hurts anymore, you dont notice being out of breath or your legs hurting. You just are riding and loving it. I had finally regained my passion for The Ride.

The parallels between my return to riding and my eye opening career experience are numerous, but the one that sticks out in my mind is the resurgance of passion. Passion for what I am doing, how I am living, and my purpose in life. God is truly at work each day, even if we dont understand or recognize it at the time. My goal in writing this blog has never been self advancement or in any way to serve myself. I hope that through my musings on riding and every day life that someone else's day/life can be uplifted in some way. As I close tonight, I hope that in some small aspect that you too can regain a passion for something you have been missing.

"Live with no excuses and love with no regrets"-Montel