Nutrition, Mindgames, and Dedication(s)

Well if I thought my training was lackluster last week, this weekend was downright terrible. I had planned on taking a 35-40 mile ride with around 3500' of climbing on Saturday evening, but ended up with around 23 miles and just over 2000' of elevation gain instead.

If anyone has been following my Twitter updates (natmiller1983), you know that I have over the course of about 7 days broken numerous spokes on my rear wheel. At first I thought it was a fluke and simply sewed in two new spokes amongst the old...bad idea. Just a day later I had broken two more and had to limp home on a wobbly wheel. No bid deal I thought, so I bought the spokes and took Friday evening to zip up my wheel with ALL new spokes. I headed out of town Saturday evening on County Road 4. This route opens up with around 6-7 miles of fairly intense climbing. I was feeling REALLY good. The tempo was good and I was recovering well on the false flats. I could even attack at the top of the climb without too much trouble. I was ten miles in when I attacked a smaller roller and heard a loud "POP" from my rear wheel...I knew that sound all too well. I stopped and assessed the damage. To my dismay a spoke nipple had failed this time (stripped out) and I once again had a noticeable kick in my rear wheel. Now I am normally a very optimistic guy, but I was tired, hadnt eaten much that day, and this was just getting ridiculous. Part of me wanted to drop the bike and walk away right then and there. I know it seems minuscule now, but its hard to explain the places your mind goes when you are out on the bike for hours a day. Sometimes you are cruising along in complete bliss, barely feeling the effort, while other times it seems you are in your own personal nightmare. Suffering alone, sometimes in excruciating pain, but unable or unwilling to give up and risk your pride/fitness/overlying goal. Its at these times, when I feel myself approaching complete frustration, that I remind myself why I am doing this. I dont get paid to be out there and I am not in such need of attention that I have to train hard and win races or I will feel like a failure. I do it because I love it. Its a sport, a culture...its MY sport, MY culture. By reminding myself of those things I am able to pull myself back away from the edge and continue plugging along. I did just that on Saturday, reminding myself that it was only a training ride, that I am NOT a PRO whose livelihood relies on my performance, and that I had eaten horribly that day (A note here: we had gotten up late and I had been lacking carbs all week long. Instead I had filled up on meats and some fats = recipe to bonk as I ran out of glycogen). I limped on home on my once again wobbly wheel, having averaged 20.5mph over 23 miles. I then vowed to take the next day completely off the bike (which I did), drink water until I nearly exploded (which I did), and eat every carb that came across my path (which I did).

I woke up the next morning feeling energized and itching for a ride. I had my motivation back and was ready to move past my little mid-season "mental breakdown". I went out this afternoon and hammered on the flats, climbs, and downhills. I feel great and am completely motivated to get back on track! I took a look at the race schedule and realized that the next two weekends are back to back racing: Saturday, Aug. 8th - Garrett Wonders Memorial Criterium/Sunday, Aug. 9th - Smith Dairy Milk Road Race; Saturday, Aug. 15th and 16th - Cheat Mountain Challenge. This will be my first experience racing on back to back days (Aug. 8th-9th and Aug. 15th-16th) and I have to admit, I am interested/concerned to see how I recover. Race #1 will be in Westerville, OH at the Garrett Wonders Memorial Criterium (check out this link: http://garrettwondersrace.com/photo.html for a cool video outlining the racing and the memorial). This is a criterium style race doing laps on a 1.1 mile course in Westerville's downtown area. My race will do 10 laps with first place walking away with $200.00 in credit at the local bike shop. The next day I will travel to Orrville, OH to race in the Smith Dairy Milk Race which is a road style race on a 10 mile course (my category completes two laps). The following weekend I travel to Snowshoe, WV to ride with Team Athens in the 110 mile Cheat Mountain Challenge, which includes 10,000' of climbing (woohoo!). It sounds tiring just typing it...but I am stoked! I felt good today and plan on doing nothing but getting faster. I will have a few teammates in all but one of these races to support me and I anticipate good results in all events.

However, I realized something today as I was coming back from my training ride. I needed something to ride for in order to get excited. One thing I have noticed about alot of professional riders is they dedicate races to people (family members, heroes, etc.) which seems at times to help them defy the odds and come out on top. They have a motivation that drives deeper than the need for glory, money, or prizes. They are riding for honor, not theirs but for someone that is close to them. I have had a great season, enjoying several successful races and have definitely exceeded my own expectations, however there are a few people that deserve not only my thanks but my humble gratitude as well.

My family (Elizabeth Ann, Paul, and Baby Miller) has been with me all the way this season as I pursued my passion for biking and racing. They have attended every race in rain, heat, and/or mud. They have gotten stuck in a muddy parking lot at a mountain bike race with me, shivered in the rain to watch me cross the finish line at the Mountwood Challenge, held me up at the finish of a road race when I could barely stand, and given up numerous weekends and countless hours with me just so I could try my hand at this bike racing thing. They have been nothing but supportive, Elizabeth being the ultimate coach and sometimes providing the motivation or scheduling solution for me to get a specific training ride in. She has followed me in the car as I trained through the heat of summer and through torrential downpours, blasting music and pulling up beside me as a motivator. She and Paul hiked to the perfect spot on the hardest road climb I have done yet this season just so they could cheer me on as I passed. At the end of my races I can always pick my pit crew's cheers out of the din of the crowd, Elizabeth yelling "Finish strong" and Paul's little squeals of "Yeah, Dad" (even if it isnt me crossing the finish line, he now cheers "Yeah Dad" at every biker that passes). And when I signed on with Team Athens and they knew that would mean more races after I had said my season was over, my beautiful little family did not complain. They are the epitome of the perfect pit crew, providing food, water, and encouragement at every turn.

That is why I am dedicating my performance this coming weekend to them, my family. They are so unbelievably important to me and to my success (in everything, not just racing), its hard to describe. I NOW have something truly worth the fight to race for this weekend. Sadly, they will be traveling out of town on Friday, but even in their absence, knowing I have made a commitment to them in the form of a dedication will spur me along. I know that I may not win or even place, but I also know that my family wouldnt care anyway. Just knowing that I gave it my all and held nothing back is enough to make them proud. So guys, this one is yours. Wherever I place or however it ends know that the one thing that kept me going was the mantra of "Finish strong, Yeah Dad" replaying over and over in my head. I love you.